Journey of a Thousand Miles...

During my last session with Bonita she recommended that I write a letter to the baby I lost. She wanted me to write about all of the things I wanted and wished for the baby.  She believed it would help me release some of the grief I have over the loss.  I agreed because Bonita has a tendency to have wonderful ideas, and for this I am truly grateful.  It has taken me a long time to get this letter written, partially because I didn't know where to even start and partially because I needed to keep stepping away from it in order to maintain clarity.  Here goes... My dearest angel, In the beginning of December 2013 it hit me like a ton of bricks that this would have been your first Christmas.  When I think of all of the wonders you would have experienced and all of the love that would have been showered upon you, it breaks my heart all over again.     It seems strange to me at times that I feel such loss and heartache when I only had you in...

Every year around this time the same thing happens.  My brain replays every moment of the few weeks leading up to my dad’s death on February 8, 2010.  It replays everything I did, everything I felt, everything I thought about.  I relive it all like a vicious movie that is on constant replay from the beginning of January through February of every single year.  This year, though, seems a bit harder to handle because of the Olympics. My dad loved watching the Olympics.  He would cheer for the most obscure person who is probably really famous is his/her home country, but someone we have never heard of…like the 1992 and 1994 Winter Olympics and Tomba.  Alberto Tomba was a cocky Italian Alpine skiing champion.  He competed in the giant slalom and slalom in 1992, winning the gold and silver respectively, and the slalom in 1994 winning the silver. My dad became playfully obsessed with him.  During each run Tomba would finish, the chant of “Tomba! Tomb...