Journey of a Thousand Miles...

When I started this blog I said I would share the good, the bad and the ugly on this Journey to healing.  I shared a whole lot of the bad and the ugly because, well, that's all there really was.  I had to work through the bad, the painful, and the often times gut wrenching in order to find the remarkable, the beautiful, and the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Sure, there have been times in which that light seemed like it was attached to a freight train hell bent on my imminent destruction.  What person who has gone through hell hasn't had that feeling? One of the most difficult things for me to do was realize that the majority of the work I was doing was futile.  I spent years trying to get back the person I used to be, the woman I was before being raped.  Accepting that the woman I was no longer existed was excruciating.  I had to go through a mourning process.  I had to learn who I was now, accept the woman I have become, and forgive my...

What a year 2018 has been! What started out as devastating, is ending with the most remarkable four months of my life.  This year has brought profound loss, but also amazing, indescribable happiness.  I am ringing in 2019 sitting on the couch next to Jesse, the man I can say with 100% certainty is my soulmate and the love of my life, and his amazing 9 year old son.  There is nowhere else I would rather be ringing in the new year than right here with my two favorite guys. I am starting this new year with my heart lovingly, kindly and so gently put back together by Jesse.  He knows my past, knows the pain that was consuming me and loves me because he doesn't see the damage done by those that came before him, he sees the strength it took me to survive them.  He lets me be 100% myself, my silly, smart, sassy, self.  He makes me smile with my whole being.  He makes me laugh more than anyone ever has.  He has a laugh that is contagious and making him...