February 4, 2018

Since 2010 the days between February 3rd and February 8th are very difficult. February 3rd is my birthday, and the last true conversation I had with my dad before he died on February 8th.  That last conversation was the most amazing gift I could ever be given, but losing my dad was truly one of the hardest blows I've ever been dealt. Needless to say, my birthday is a tremendously bittersweet day.  The 5 days after I just try to get through as best I can and as painlessly as possible. This year has been very different though.  This year has been different because our hometown (American) Football team, my dad's favorite team, the Philadelphia Eagles were playing in the Super Bowl on February 4th.

In a house full of women who are more interested in movies, music and musical theatre, the lone man who wants to just sit on a Sunday and watch his favorite team play, what to us was the longest game ever (except golf, of course), generally gets relegated to the not so great TV in his …

The End of Radio Silence

I have been silent for the last few months, not because I didn't have anything to say, but because I couldn't find the words to properly articulate the crazy that has been happening all around me.
So much crazy has been going on, in fact, that I have fallen into one of my old habits of bottling things up and shutting down; hence the radio silence.

PTSD allows you a certain amount of crazy in your day to day surroundings before you break.  Over the last 7 months or so, I have reached my crazy threshold by 12:00 p.m. just by keeping up with the news. It seems like every single day I find myself thinking, "Oh, what the fuck did he do now?!" when I get a Breaking News alert. It is either something so horrible that he is eventually going to get us all killed, or it is something so hideous and offensive that I will be triggered for the next few hours at minimum.  So, as a survival mechanism, I have been trying to keep my issues boxed away in the attic of my brain so I can…