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Showing posts from July, 2013

Rediscovering My Artistic Spirit

One of the most basic of early childhood activities is coloring.  Like all kids, it was an activity that I loved.  I loved taking a page that was, for all intents and purposes, blank and making it colorful and pretty.  One of my earliest memories in my coloring exploration is from preschool.  I was coloring a bunch of grapes...one grape at a time.  I didn't want to go outside the lines and make it easier by coloring all of the grapes at once in a sweeping motion, like my teacher suggested.  I wanted to be like my mom, a woman who taught her daughter to see the beautiful potential in a blank piece of paper, and create something beautiful. All through elementary school and high school I continued to draw, color, paint and absorbed everything I could from my teachers.  From these amazing teachers I learned how colors can not only transform a blank canvas or piece of paper, but it can spark powerful emotions.  I learned how negative space can be used to create anything your mind'…

Flashbacks, Panic Attacks and PTSD...Oh my!

The last month or so has been challenging to say the least.  I have been battling a few health issues and a few PTSD flashback /panic attack episodes, one of which was witnessed by my mom and it was pretty bad.  The episodes have come on quickly and, as in the case of the most recent one, without any warning.  One of the things that I am trying to do, either during an episode, or in the aftermath, is to write as much down as I can about it.  I am doing this in the hopes that I will be able to work with Bonita and gain a better understanding of the triggers, better ways to cope and fight back against PTSD.  Unfortunately, I have had some health issues that have been keeping me from getting to Bonita’s office for a while, but I look forward to getting back to work with her. Tonight I got lucky and felt the symptoms coming on and was able to do something about them before it blew up into a full blown PTSD/panic attack episode.  No matter what else is going on, there is a constant thread…