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Showing posts from May, 2015

Mom

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I recently saw an interview with a recent recipient of the Congressional Medal of Honor.  He was asked what he was thinking when he put himself in harm's way to save his fellow soldier.  He said (and I am paraphrasing here) that when you are in the military you are taught to not think about yourself.  Instead, you think about the people to the left of you and the right of you.  You do everything to protect them. That is what he did when a member of his unit was being taken by someone in the Taliban.  This brave soldier went after his friend, pulled him to safety while fending off the Taliban. As I watched this, I immediately thought of my mom.  My mom was never in the military, but she has certainly been through the hell.
I have been trying to write this for days, but I am finding it hard to come up with the words to truly express what my mom means to me.  How do you thank the person who stayed in a less than ideal marriage simply so she could have you?  How do you thank the per…

What If?

How different would my life have been if I had just bought that ticket, gotten on that plane and headed across the pond like we planned?  Would it have made a difference?  Would we have lived happily ever after? Would you have chosen me?  Could I have forgiven the horrible lie? I have no idea why, but each day since that time in my life 9 years ago I play the what ifs over in my head. D, if you are reading this, please know that for some inexplicable reason you are still in my thoughts and in my heart each day. I wish nothing but the very best for you. I have avoided sharing this part of my life, but I have realized that if I am ever going to be able to free myself from you and fully open my heart again, without pushing someone worthy of it away, I have to deal with this part of it and try to heal from the damage left in your wake.

During the years of 2005 to 2007, I was engaged to someone I no longer trusted simply because his lies, and his lack of a backbone when it came to his mot…