Another year has come and gone...

As I begin this post it is 11:41 p.m. on Saturday, February 2, 2013.  In 8 hours and 15 minutes, at 7:56 a.m. on February 3rd, my phone will ring.  My mom will be on the other end calling to say happy birthday at the exact moment I was born.  She has done this every year for as long as I can remember.  It is the only time I don't mind being woken up early.  It is something I look forward to each year. It is our little tradition.
My mom and I have always had a very close relationship.  She is the one person I can talk to about anything and everything.  Even if there is nothing she can do to completely fix a problem, knowing that I can talk it out with her or even just sit in silence crying while she hugs me, or holds my hand, is enough to make it better. My mom is my hero.  She is the strongest person I know, something which she attributes to my grandmother.  My mom has always told me that the Mitchell women are built strong and we can survive anything.  She is right.  My grandmother became a widow while she was pregnant with my mom. She went on to raise 5 children by herself.  My grandmother was strong, smart and had the biggest heart in the world.  She passed these things on to her children, especially her daughters.  Her daughters then passed those gifts on to their children.  While my cousins and I all have different gifts and talents, the strength passed on to us by our mothers and grandmother is the one thing we all have in common.  
As I look back on this past year, I see the mistakes I have made - whether it was a stupid decision I made or because I trusted the wrong person - but I can also see the lessons I have learned from them.  
  1. Icy Hot is a wonderful thing.  While I am only turning 33, this body has a tendency to feel more like 93.  When my muscles and joints decide to rebel, I turn to my good friends pain killers and Icy Hot. :) 
  2. When a story someone is telling you doesn't quite add up and when getting him to talk about himself is more difficult than trying to give a cat a bath, most likely said person is completely full of shit.  I learned that lesson the hard way this Fall.  
  3. I took a chance on finding love again, and while I got my heartbroken, I at least took the chance which is more than I have allowed myself to do in a while.  And while I learned that I always need to follow my gut, even when my heart and friends with very good intentions are telling me otherwise, I also realized that I love is still something I need in my life.  I have tried to shut that part of me down and convince myself that I don't love, affection, romance, and companionship. I tried to convince myself that this would be the best way to protect myself from getting hurt again. Instead, all I succeeded in doing was hurting myself.  I was depriving myself of the very thing that is completely  ingrained in my spirit because I did not think I could survive another heartbreak or loss.  But I did get my heart broken, and I had a terrible loss with it, and so far I have survived. I am grieving the loss step by step, and some days are easier than others, but I am getting through it. 
  4. Mistakes will happen, but most can be corrected.  
  5. People will surprise you, some for the better, but others will fall from the place you have held them. Be grateful for those who surprise you for they are watching over you for a reason. For those who fall and fail to meet your expectations, try to figure out if they fell because your expectations were too high or if they were just not the people you thought them to be.  If it is the latter, don't be afraid to walk away. I had many people reveal themselves as guardian angels, so to speak, at the end of this year.  Without them it would have been impossible to even get food in the refrigerator. I will be forever grateful to each of you for your generosity and kindness. For the one who fell, I truly hope you can one day see through the haze of your self promotion and grandiosity and find your way back to the reason you started your quest and the reason why I, and so many others reached out to you. I hope that you find your way back to those who we are all fighting for.
  6. Don't be afraid to admit when you need some time to simply be alone.  Sometimes when you are getting the shit kicked out of you by life you can't be all things to all people.  It is OK to tell others that you are normally there for at all times that you need a break to just focus on healing yourself. 
  7. Find a creative outlet and give yourself permission to pursue it.  It may be something you want to learn, get better at or are already great at, but make sure that you get to do it!  
  8. Finally, I have learned that those who are your true friends will be there for you, stand by you, and help carry you when you are too weak to stand on your own.  We all have people in our lives that we call our friends, but how many of them will truly be there when everything is stacked against you?  How many of them will be there, cheering you on, when when you take that first step on your own after you get back on your feet?  I am so grateful that I have a few friends who have been there, cheering me on through the challenges of this last year.  You know who you are and I love you all for it. 
It is now 2:24 a.m.  I am 5 hours and 32 minutes away from my early morning wake up call and the Gods of Slumber demand I pay them a visit.  I am so grateful for those of you from around the world (something that is completely shocking to me, by the way) who are reading my blog and I am very happy to be sharing the early morning hours of my birthday with you.  May 2013 bring you all, wherever you are (Germany, Croatia, Israel, Finland, Canada, United Kingdom, United States, Jamaica, New Zealand, Russia, Australia, Hong Kong and any other country I may be missing in these early morning hours), peace, love, happiness, and only the very best things life has to offer.  


  1. Happy Birthday sweetie. Never forget how much you are loved. Hugs, Mom


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