The Bad with the Good
The last few weeks have been a bit crazy. I will be having surgery, hopefully sooner than later, that will, hopefully, once and for all, get rid of this chronic breast infection that has ruled my life for the last five years. The surgery is terrifying to me, but at this point it is completely necessary. I have been a lot sicker than I have let pretty much everyone know and I can't take it anymore. So, I will be getting an MRI done on Friday, remain on a strong antibiotic, and based on the results of the test, the surgical plan will be set up. It will either be a smaller surgery than expected to try and clean out the infected tissue and then possible do the larger surgery a bit later, or if the MRI gives the doctors the info the need and it all looks good, they will go ahead and do the bigger surgery. Neither course of action makes me happy because I hate surgery.
Surgery causes a massive autoimmune flare, during which, as I experienced in past surgeries, leave me in so much pain that I can barely move, having trouble regulating my body temperature, and running high fevers. In short, I am incredibly useless during a massive autoimmune flare. I should be getting used to it though. Because of the infection my immune system has been on constant attack high alert. While it is trying to attack the infection, it is, unfortunately, also attacking my muscles and joints. I am not going to sugar coat it: It fucking sucks! So in my house, since we all have the same autoimmune issues, we try to have fun as much as we possibly can. For instance last week was National Talk Like a Pirate Day. Krispy Kreme doughnut shops had a promotion that if you came to the shop dressed like a pirate you got a free dozen doughnuts. So what did I do? I got up at the ass crack of dawn, dressed up like a pirate and got some free doughnuts! So, instead of a traditional pain scale that you see in hospitals (You've probably seen them. They are the smiley face pain scales that get really annoying.), we use this fun new pain scale. With the new and improved pain scale as a guide, the pain that this persistent breast infection has been causing is, on a good day, a "6 - BEES!", and on a really bad day I only wish it was a "9 - Mauled by a bear or ninjas." When it gets this bad, when medication doesn't even touch the pain, all I can do is cry or sometimes scream. This is why I gave my doctor permission to operate and to do whatever he has to do in order to make this go away. I am terrified of it, but it is necessary at this point.