Journey of a Thousand Miles...

I promised that I would talk about it all here…the good days, the bad days, the days when I am inspired and positive, and the days that I just want to curl up in bed and be left the fuck alone.  Today is definitely one of the “I want to curl up in bed and be left the fuck alone” days.   I had another great session with Bonita last night.  She has warned me that as we begin to get into the core work it may get worse before it gets better.  She added that I may start to have weird or intense dreams because we are stirring up my subconscious, and it will not be happy with me. I am happy she reminded me of that or else waking up this morning with my head a bit of a jumble would have been a bit more startling. I have been sitting here, staring at a blank page for almost an hour.  I want to say something helpful, something hopeful, but right now nothing will come out of my head that is even close to those two things.   Today was painful....

Imagine a piece of fabric that is all at once extremely delicate, yet able to withstand the most intense pressure.   Fabric that is both light as air, yet as sturdy and protective as a suit of armor.   Something that is magnificent to gaze upon, yet weathered and worn from experience – complete with tears, holes and frayed edges.   How would you begin to repair it? This is the image I have in my head each time I step foot in Bonita’s office for a session, except the fabric in question is me. We are in the process of identifying all of the areas in need of repair.   Slowly moving on to a plan of delicately mending the damage – choosing the right thread and the perfect stitch so it can never come undone or be destroyed again.   With every session, every “ah-ha moment,” I feel the needle pierce my spirit with a soothing pain that only healing can bring; its thread binding together the torn pieces with precision and strength. With each stitch I am starting to f...